Forked Tongue

The jovial waiter at No. 29 Eatery on Geylang Road has little time for teaching. The place is too busy. There is little opportunity. The man has better things to do too, one can tell. Some frustration is evident. In addition, the ineptitude that confronts him is rather puzzling to him it seems. Doesn't quite know how to take it. Frowns of the sort he displays are not an entire put-on. On his side his own smattering of English is much better, more than passable. So what's the problem?
Ah, my dear boy!
A kind of Jack Nicholson look-alike, of the period after the actor had gone to seed. This chap's slide though has been rather premature, a number of years earlier than R. P. McMurphy Jack. Too much beer possibly. And straightened circumstances. Lack of money doing its usual cutting of chances.
It should not be so difficult. Two vocables. An educated, multi-lingual adult with good motivation. No lack of effort. Only to raise the frown every time, the shake of the head. An appeal for further hearings eliciting the bluntest of dismissals.
— A hundred times you can't get.
Initially TSI-UNG CHA(I).
Then TSUNG SOY and TSI-UNG SOY.
Finally, with outside help, some kind of improvement acknowledged on the last occasion - JIANG CHA.
Practice now having it coming along some little way finally.
Simple ginger tea. Heavily sugared always on Geylang, as the elderly sweet-tooths, who are the majority customers, prefer. A beer hall possibly not the best place to get up to speed on tea orders.
Many of the older waiters and waitresses have almost not a single word of English in that Geylang quarter. It is every bit as non-existent as the Mandarin of the very occasional foreign traveler who ventures into those parts. Inconsequential given the rarity of the meeting, one might be tempted to think.
R. P. Mc. Jack at No. 29 looks like he might have swung a punch in earlier days, like his doppleganger in the film. The number of missing teeth might not have all been the result of dental decay. As a consequence the Mandarin vocalizations none the easier to catch from him, all excuses aside. One would wager for his part the fellow is not used to a lisp either. Nothing thuggish about him, unlike some of the tattooed, shaven-headed and ringed lads manning the doors at the karaoke places opposite.
With the new regs Jack is required to stand off from the tables for his fags. Quick puffs taken that can't provide him his proper time-out. The fellow needs to be told about the projected new laws in Iceland at the moment. Nothing less than a doctor's prescription needed for purchase in that country in the years to come. If only that conversation were possible.
It is truly terrible the language problem. An enormously large gulf. Six or seven of the shortest, most common phrases simply impossible to sound consistently in an intelligible manner. This is not even considering written form. Far too late in the day for any of that I'm afraid. In Singapore too where they promote English so forcefully, this is no less unfortunate. One colludes with the imperial language without some proper resistance. On downtrodden Geylang this is especially significant. The poor, unfortunate non-English speakers there can only assume superior airs and belittlement from any Western traveler passing through. No doubt even those of the sort that seem to make-up to them with their various antics.